In his book Dale Carnegie says something similar that " Everyone thinks about themselves, morning, noon and night - even if you are dying or dead".
It's so hard to care for some on who has annoyed you and took advantage of you most of your life and continues to do so. However they are in hospital, suffering from cancer, having an operation that would scare the mightiest of souls.
In my selfish way, although being noted as his only next of kin (by default) - although I have been there for him as much as I can, not because I wanted to but because I had to.While this is going on, I cannot help but think about my day, and how it is affecting me. Lots of his guests are coming to see him in hospital from all over the country, and I am entertaining the guests, he is my cousin, (I am not that close to him).
I hope this day I write this blog, that he recovers well, he is in for a nine (9) hour operation as I write, he has a 2 year old child and a wife in Bangladesh. We tried bringing them over on holiday visa's but it failed as the British High commission felt that they will not return in six months back to Bangladesh, if his condition does not improve.
My point is, that I watch the Disasters in Nepal, Burma, Palestine and all over the world, I feel horrified and disgusted at world leaders & humanity. This of course is followed by an appeal on TV by the various charities. I think to myself, well I have to do my bit and donate a little money, this action brings a smile to my face and I feel that I have healed the world. I don't have to think about them on a daily basis, it doesn't affect my day any more.
I feel I am such a bad person for not being sincere in my effort to help this person, but I have been there for him more than anyone else. It is also hard to give him the care and attention he needs, as I have a wife on maternity leave as we have a few month old baby at home and a 4 year old. When you are being pulled in every direction, as many more people rely on you, which way do you go? I am self employed which means I have to keep churning the wheels as well.
I know of a non Muslim man, who had cancer (he has passed away since), whilst he was deteriorating, after 7 months of treatment, his wife left him as she could not handle caring for him. He moved in with his mum and younger brother.
