Time for choosing a school..

Well it’s been a while, so much to say, but sometimes I think best kept quiet. Firstly the summer is over (I am sure you have all noticed). It has been a tumultuous summer, so many decisions. My little boy started reception. Unfortunately we missed out on the better school.  We almost rented a house within catchment just to get him on the waiting list for the better school. It seemed crazy to move to a rented house, a smaller more expensive house in a posh part of town – but mans house is his castle.

Perhaps it was fate that the letting agent made a mistake and we backed off from the move a week before the contract. The landlord was to demanding and unwilling to make changes.  I couldn’t give up a bigger better house that I OWN (which we’d only moved in four years ago).  I had only moved to our current house so that my younger sister could retain her independence as it was close to town, train station, bus station and so on) and that my mum would be happy staying walking distance from her grandchildren (walking distance for the grandchildren- mum doesn’t walk anywhere). However my sister got married last year and moved, so the location is no longer a factor.

I have moved about ten times in the last 30 years that I feel transient and NOT at all settled. Priorities change with every change, every child, and every decision. I’m still seeking that ideal, - nowhere to be found.

About my little boys schooling, well these are things we thought about, but circumstances meant we couldn’t do much about it. Now we are in a position, it’s hard to move house, so we have given ourselves three years to make things better. What I have discovered is that a move requires careful planning and consideration.

I have a friend that moved countries to give his children a better education, I couldn’t move house.  I wonder what sacrifices do parents make, what goes through their mind when a child is about to embark on a life long journey of learning?

"Feeling the need" to care about someone, not close to you..

In his book Dale Carnegie says something similar that " Everyone thinks about themselves, morning, noon and night - even if you are dying or dead".

It's so hard to care for some on who has annoyed you and took advantage of you most of your life and continues to do so. However they are in hospital, suffering from cancer, having an operation that would scare the mightiest of souls.

In my selfish way, although being noted as his only next of kin (by default) - although I have been there for him as much as I can, not because I wanted to but because I had to.While this is going on,  I cannot help but think about my day, and how it is affecting me. Lots of his guests are coming to see him in hospital from all over the country, and I am entertaining the guests, he is my cousin, (I am not that close to him).

I hope this day I write this blog, that he recovers well, he is in for a nine (9) hour operation as I write, he has a 2 year old child and a wife in Bangladesh. We tried bringing them over on holiday visa's but it failed as the British High commission felt that they will not return in six months back to Bangladesh, if his condition does not improve.

My point is, that I watch the Disasters in Nepal, Burma, Palestine and all over the world, I feel horrified and disgusted at world leaders & humanity. This of course is followed by an appeal on TV by the various charities. I think to myself, well I have to do my bit and donate a little money, this action brings a smile to my face and I feel that I have healed the world. I don't have to think about them on a daily basis, it doesn't affect my day any more.

I feel I am such a bad person for not being sincere in my effort to help this person, but I have been there for him more than anyone else. It is also hard to give him the care and attention he needs, as I have a wife on maternity leave as we have a few month old baby at home and a 4 year old. When you are being pulled in every direction, as many more people rely on you, which way do you go? I am self employed which means I have to keep churning the wheels as well.

I know of a non Muslim man, who had cancer (he has passed away since), whilst he was deteriorating, after 7 months of treatment, his wife left him as she could not handle caring for him. He moved in with his mum and younger brother.